Muscle and bone are meant to move: a lot.
As soon as I quit focusing on exercising to lose weight and started doing it to feel stronger and better the results became undeniable. I feel differently when I stand up, roll out of bed, get clothes out of the dryer, run with the kids. More stamina, flexibility and power behind my movements.
Sensuality, I think is derived out of that confidence that is birthed out of getting to know yourself in a physical way. There is a profoundness in discovering yourself in that way, that seems to be demoted under having someone else understand you physically. I am starting to think that knowing yourself physically is sort of a prerequisite for having someone else blow your mind sexually.
Another difference I notice is that moving with focus, like following exercise videos, makes a radical difference in the quality of my workout. Aligning my shoulders right, watching my stance, pulling my tummy in all make the actions have a more powerful resort and then I remind myself of that throughout the day when moving. I get more active in different actions, incorporating my new tools into how I move. I think I understand why there were times in my life when I was active but not getting results, I needed that coaching.
All in all, I guess the biggest difference is mentally. I am less irritable. The kid’s little shit storms don’t seem to affect me in a way that causes me to overreact. I seem more focused. More apt to get shit done on my house without feeling defeated. I read with a better attention span. I feel less panicky and am sleeping better at night. I feel celebratory.
I’m happy. I thought the other day, that maybe I have held on to this idea that happiness and joy were superficial. That depression was related to sophistication. Fuck it. I’ll feel it all deeply, joy, anger, sorrow, sadness, sensuality, powerful. Feel it all and then…come back to center. Back to myself; where I am.